Week 4 asked us to focus on relationships. I think these are the hardest part for my ego to deal with in my life because I can’t control other people’s actions. However, I can control my thoughts and how I react to others so it was great to focus on this in week 4. I read this week of chapter, 6 weeks ago at the end of January, but I think it’s weird & perfect time that I’m revisiting the manifestation and journaling exercises now in March.
The concept of love whether it’s parental, friendship or romantic love is based on dependency and lack. Society seems to have created this need to seek completion in others vs. feeling whole on our own. The ego creates fear in relationships. For me personally it’s easy to explain that I have a fear of abandonment after the last devastating relationship break up but that is a fear that I keep projecting in my mind vs. it being real. If I keep projecting this fear then I’m going to keep receiving that as I will carry it with me into new relationships.
A part of the introduction to this week of chapters that struck me was “you’re not expected to just let go of the ego overnight.” I read week 4, 6 weeks ago and I’m finding now writing the post I need to come back to all the manifestations and remember what I learned about myself because I’m still letting my ego come in and take charge.
On Day 22, we had to pay attention to what we think about others. Based on our current or past relationships just witnessing how we made them “special” and allowed our ego to create fear problems. During evening journalling we were asked to see how we judge others, how we attack others with thoughts or actions, how do we make people “special” or ourselves more special than others and how do we compare relationships. The ones that came up for me were different friendships and my past relationship. I didn’t judge any thoughts that came up but just allowed them to flow so I could begin the week with everything laid out.
The background image is from my weekend in Vancouver last summer for SeaWheeze. These balloons were strung over the beach before we did sunset yoga. I just lay there and stared up at the sky so it was appropriate for my mind to have this image to stare up at as I witness false ideas I’ve created about relationships.
On Day 23, we were asked to surrender our ego thoughts to healing ones. Today we also had to work on viewing all others as equal. This could be hard on an intellectual level to stop seeing qualities you’ve latched onto seeing in others as that puts them into certain categories vs an equal playing field. During journalling we revisited how we answered yesterday’s questions and simply chose love instead of yesterday’s views.
The background image goes back to my time in Turks & Caicos when I started my journey of witnessing what I had done or didn’t do in a romantic relationship and knew I had to choose love to get me through that time.
Day 24 was about bringing out and focusing on kindness in all our interactions. We may think we are kind individuals but we are human and we are not always kind. It definitely takes awareness to bring this into all aspects of life. From the people who push you on public transportation to impatient coworkers. After this day I definitely found myself letting things not bother me. When I went to Mexico there was a lot of impatience found around me on our travel days. I definitely know that I now try to always constantly choose positivity, kindness and a sense of peace in my thoughts and words. I still need to vent at times but I need to start with my thoughts first before verbally flushing out negativity.
The background image takes me back to Mexico last year. Travelling with 12 women is always a trial for the female gender but when you choose kindness which is what I found myself doing last year and this year. You open yourself up to the best growth in relationships.
Day 25 was supposed to teach me that what I project on others I get back on myself. While this concept makes sense it can appear to be slightly “cheesy” and took my brain a while to go from rational to understanding. If I project healthy loving thoughts and reactions into all relationships in my life then they can only mirror back that feeling. Today we also had to see each encounter in our life as an opportunity for spiritual growth.
Today we were also asked to release romantic love as special love above all else. I love the part where she writes “open up to the possibility for more fiery sparks within your friendships.” As I’ve been passing through the world in my single life I’ve been unconsciously dating my friends and experiencing life with them and finding happiness by holding the friendships with just as much love as a romantic one thus evening out the playing field.
The background image is back to my canoe trip in Algonquin. I got to date 5 of my fitness friends and find a fulfilling loving trip with amazing people that I hold dear to me.
On Day 26 we brought forgiveness back into our day’s homework and chose peace instead of current fear based thoughts. I have worked through forgiveness in many relationships over the past 2 years but I’ve been holding onto negative thoughts towards some secondary players in a rough chapter of my life. I didn’t realize I was holding onto not forgiving several people until I had a conversation on a couch with a friend last weekend (after not having her in my life for almost two years). I prayed that night about forgiveness for each and every person who I had been holding onto pain for.
The background image is back to a cottage weekend I got to experience last September. Water and peace just match up in my mind. This dock is definitely a place of peace.
Day 27 was a day of consciously choosing “oneness” vs. separation. I know for me most of this week was about past relationships instead or current ones or developing ones. Today’s affirmation will help me take this into the now and the future.
The background image is from my week in Australia. This was the sunset view from the beach house of my cousin’s wedding reception. This was a hard day for me as it was the first wedding I had attended since cancelling my own. It was a perfect day to walk down to the water and throw away past feelings and choose to see a future of choosing love.