Things I’m Embarassed To Tell You

I’m really turned off by perfection these days. I’m so annoyed by Instagram accounts that only show the highlight reel and never take advantage of Insta Stories for showing the real moments behind the scenes. So in honor of getting annoyed with perfection because it’s simply a mirror telling me that I’m guilty of showing only the highlights. Here are all the things I’m embarrassed to tell you or show you on Insta Stories.

Last year I wrote about the Things I’m Afraid To Tell You but these ones I’m truly embarrassed about.

Feeling embarrassed is about feelings of shame,  awkward or self-conscious. So technically if I’m embarrassed about something it’s because I’ve been made to feel shame or self-conscious about this before and then hidden it from the world.

1. Our house is basically always covered in dog hair and I’m embarrassed about the mess. There are sometimes tumbleweeds of Havoc’s fur around the house. We invite people over so we’re forced to clean. I talk about outsourcing things that you don’t like to do so that you can have more time to do the things you love but can’t for the life of me hire a house cleaner. I don’t trust anyone to come into our home and ensure Havoc doesn’t escape out the front door (he’s a runner) or let Rogue out of her crate and get out of her way so she can run around in circles with a toy in her mouth.

2. I eat gluten and dairy even though I know it causes inflammation in my body. If Mike orders a normal pizza and looks the other way I’ll take a bite. And heaven forbid, he leave pieces in the fridge (he left 4 when he left for Ireland – he’s there for 2 weeks). I’ll scarf them down the next day like nobodies business (and I did). And then I work really hard on not feeling guilty and taking all the steps to keep inflammation at bay in my body.

3. I’m terrified to get excited about the wedding (which I feel guilty for even having feelings of fear around the most magical day). Something in me is telling me that I have to wait until July 18th (one month and one day to our wedding) to actually get excited because then I’ll have made it closer to the wedding than last time (and then I get mad that I even let last time creep into my brain). I shouldn’t even be thinking about the last time, because I’ve done so much healing and it’s different and not the same but I’m still scared to get excited. And then I’m scared that I’m still in this thing called healing and can’t wait for it to be done with but maybe I need to stop treating it like a to-do list. I need to stop thinking I just check off the item “healed heart” and honour all my feelings but also know which ones are based on fear, aren’t true, don’t serve me and really have no place in my life. But I need to feel them, acknowledge them and then move through them or throw them out.

4. I get super overwhelmed with the dogs sometimes when they are fighting inside and yell at them like this…


5. I tried to grow a vegetable garden 2 years in a row and failed miserably. If the zombie apocalypse happened and we had to grow our own food I’d die. No one would pick me to be on their zombie survival team.

6. I joke about being bossy in Escape Rooms but I’m really bad. I’ve got no time for dead weights. Even though I can’t do math to save my life and count on others to solve those puzzles for our team.

7. If I don’t give myself goals and seasonal bucket lists and to do lists, I will sit on the couch and watch marathon after marathon of shows on Netflix.

I even deleted one this morning before I pressed published cause I was actually having heart palpitations in the shower thinking it would be posted for EVERYONE to see…

What are you embarrassed to tell the world? Will you share with me in the comments?

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