Book Review: Fire Starter Sessions

The Fire Starter Sessions is an apathy-kicking, integrity-infusing guide to defining success on your own terms.

As the creator of DanielleLaPorte.com–deemed “the best place online for kick-ass spirituality,” Danielle LaPorte’s straight-talk life-and-livelihood sermons have been read by over one million people. Bold but empathetic, she reframes popular self-help and success concepts:

: Life balance is a myth, and the pursuit of it is causing us more stress than the craving for balance itself.
: Being well-rounded is overrated. When you focus on developing your true strengths, you enter your mastery zone.
: Screw your principles (they might be holding you back).
: We have ambition backward. Getting clear on how you want to feel in your life + work is more important than setting goals. It’s the most potent form of clarity that you can have, and it’s what leads to true fulfillment.

What I say: This is a lovely soul-fire-up book. Danielle LaPorte is a fierce Canadian author and definitely puts her soul into success searching. Her book is broken down into 3 Parts (Mojo, Moxie & Results) and 16 Sessions (or chapters). Sessions that really spoke to me at this moment were the No, Thank You. Yes, Please chapter whose worksheet you work through The Stop-Doing List. I’m definitely guilty of trying to take on too many projects at once so I need to focus on how to say no so I can make room for more YES! I also loved Session 15 of Be The Giver. I seek and reach out to mentors as I move through my career & personal aspirations so as I gain knowledge and ideas I’m always willing to share. I Skyped for an hour with a new fitness entrepreneur on Monday to share branding knowledge because he gave me the fire to start a new Yes project that will allow me to properly say no to all the tiny things I do. Pick this book up if you need inspiration or to re-focus on defining your success goal getting.

Book Review: Conquering Shame and Codependency

7 / 25 / 1411 / 20 / 22

What kobo.com says:

A nationally recognized author and codependency expert examines the roots of shame and its connection with codependent relationships. Learn how to heal from their destructive hold by implementing eight steps that will empower the real you, and lead to healthier relationships.

Shame: the torment you feel when you’re exposed, humiliated, or rejected; the feeling of not being good enough. It’s a deeply painful and universal emotion, yet is not frequently discussed. For some, shame lurks in the unconscious, undermining self-esteem, destroying confidence, and leading to codependency. These codependent relationships are where we overlook our own needs and desires as we try to care for, protect, or please another-often cover up abuse, addiction, or other harmful behaviors. Shame and codependency feed off one another, making us feel stuck, never able to let go, move on, and become the true self we were meant to be.

In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents’ feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.

What I say: This book made me a bit sad but helped me embrace the reality of our world. No matter what happens in life, how we are brought up, and who we associate with, we are all dealing with shame in some form or another and will over the course of our lifetime. It got me a little depressed at the beginning but pulled me out with the 8 steps to overcome shame and deal with ways we become co-dependent on others.

I am a huge fan of self-development books and so when I was asked to review this book I jumped at the chance. The topics & material found within the pages are quite heavy and I’m actually re-working my way through some chapters. I want to take the time to let the information sink in and do the writing exercises found within the pages. I’ve been doing work on myself to discover what I find shameful and to reframe it in a positive way. What I like about the 8 steps which I’ll share below:

1. Find Your True Self

2. Uncover Your Shame

3. Find Your Shame’s Roots

4. Disarm Your Shame

5. Confront Your Shame

6. Share Your Shame

7. Build Your Self-Esteem

8. Love Yourself

Is that I’ve been doing these unconsciously over the course of the last few years. I was of the mindset that if I announced I’m done healing then I am but moments, hurt trigger points, songs, words, and memories will probably always surface and it’s great to be able to remind myself of how I can reframe hurt to love and learning.

I recommend this book if you are going through a trying time and are looking for answers.

Book Review: You Are A Badass

5 / 2 / 145 / 9 / 14

What kobo.com says:

Bestselling author, speaker and world-traveling success coach, Jen Sincero, cuts through the din of the self-help genre with her own verbal meat cleaver in You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life. In this refreshingly blunt how-to guide, Sincero, serves up 27 bite-sized chapters full of hilariously inspiring stories, life-changing insights, easy exercises and the occasional swear word.

Via chapters such as “Your Brain is Your Bitch,” “Fear is for Suckers” and “My Subconscious Made Me Do It,” Sincero takes you on a wild joy ride to your own transformation, helping you create the money, relationships, career and general all around awesomeness you so desire. And should you be one of those people who dreads getting busted with a self-help book in your hands, fear not. Sincero, a former skeptic herself, delivers the goods minus the New-Age cheese, giving even the snarkiest of poo-pooers exactly what they need to get out of their ruts and start kicking some ass.

By the end of You Are a Badass, you will understand why you are how you are, how to love what you can’t change, how to change what you don’t love, and how to start living the kind of life you used to be jealous of.

What I say: The creative director at Kobo lent me a copy of this book after hearing me describe the structure of my first non-fiction book that I’m writing in 2014. The funniest part is he had a paper copy of the book from before he started at Kobo and I felt really guilty reading a paper book after only reading on my Kobo for the past year.

I absolutely loved reading Jen’s writing. Her style of narrative is how I talk and I like how she distilled the self-help world into no non-sense bite size sections and chapters. The book is organized into 5 sections: How You Got This Way, How To Embrace Your Inner Badass, How To Tap Into The Motherlode, How To Get Over Your B.S. Already and How To Kick Some Ass. I really loved the chapter on the subconscious as that is something I’m just starting to explore. I definitely recommend this book if you’ve yet to discover the self help genre but are looking for inspiration. The author draws from a lot of other books so she definitely has done the searching for you and explains complex at times concepts into easy to understand and apply ways.

Book Review: 30 Day Love Detox

1 / 7 / 145 / 3 / 19

What kobo.com says:

From a dating doyenne of the Sex and the City generation comes this groundbreaking prescription for slow-love that blasts traditional dating books and their confusing messages: Be free but not too free. Play hard to get and go after what you want. Keep him close by not letting him know you want a commitment—messages that help women play a game that doesnt always lead to a fulfilling, committed relationship. Dr. Wendy Walshs outside-the-box approach to relationships turns traditional thinking on its head by using evolutionary psychology to offer advice that is both empowering and practical. The 30 Day Love Detox is unlike any relationship book before because it helps women better understand themselves and their mating strategies. For the first time, general readers will gain access to clinical tests that help women identify their gender role type, their attachment style and their sexual strategies.

In The 30 Day Love Detox Walsh offers a step-by-step, five-part attachment strategy, with a 30-day “detox” that helps weed out the bad boys and set women up to meet the right guy, including:

How to purge junk-food men
The five sexual myths that keep women single
When to begin the onset of sexual activity in a new relationship
The biggest mistakes women make when dating online—and how to avoid them
How to spot a commitment-oriented man at his “state of readiness”

Melding scientific research, anthropological truths, and proven techniques, The 30 Day Love Detox is a revolutionary road map to finding lasting love in a modern world.

What I say: I really adored this dating self help book. This book could be shocking to you depending on where you’re at in singledom. It definitely boils dating down to an anthropological level vs. romantic. It takes out the Disney starry eyed wonder and gives you a club and puts you back into a cavewoman mentality. I however was ready to hear the message Dr Walsh has for women. Having already read It’s Just a F***ing Date earlier this year I was primed for more dating self help. I am 31, I see babies and swoon (apparently that just happens at a certain age and although I make fun of my hormones the urge is there), I know that I want to be in a loving relationship that builds a solid foundation for marriage and raising a family. I’m not ashamed of this and I need to start embracing this side of me vs. being apologetic for having these thoughts as a woman. I sabotage my dates by actions learned early in my 20s and even now as a fairly intelligent female (with only a few blonde moments a day) I continue patterns and actions that are not serving me well. I’m ready to try Wendy’s advice as I leap head first into the wide world of dating in 2014.