Every Friday I am going to feature a woman that I adore. They exude all the qualities of an Alpha Female and I want to dig into their lives to get some nuggets of knowledge to help us all live happier, healthier lives balancing life & work.
Definition of an Alpha Female
An Alpha Female is a powerful and assertive woman. Her confidence is due to being an intelligent and intellectual problem-solver. Being an Alpha Female is a State of Mind based on choosing ambition and being proud of it. She strives for a happy and healthy work/life harmony.
She is the brightest star in her constellation. When an Alpha Female stays true to their authentic selves and their missions they shine. An Alpha Female puts herself first because she deserves self-care and love. She knows that work/life harmony is found by staying true to your priorities and what makes you happy. She is never complacent about striving for better and nurtures relationships with all the people in her life.
Meet Hilary Spires!
What do you think of the definition and how are you an Alpha Female?
Two things stick out for me. First is the line, “she is never complacent about striving or better”. I believe I’m finally in a place where “for better” can mean slowing down, paying attention to self-care, or allowing myself to just be still. A short time ago I would have read that sentence as “never complacent about striving to achieve more”, and it would have come with a load of guilt and shame if I spent an hour sitting quietly instead of working towards a goal.
The 2nd is that being an alpha for me has always gone hand in hand with leadership. When I look back on my life I realize I was naturally an alpha female when I was just a teenager and a leader on multiple sports teams. Being a leader for me didn’t, (and still doesn’t) mean being the best player on the team, but that my job was to find a way to get the best out of every other player in every game, and that would mean we were successful.
At some point in my 20s I got muddled up in the need to find outer validation in achievements, but I’m happy to say I think I’m back to my true authentic self.
What does work/life harmony look like for you?
Accepting there will be days when I am in work flow, and also that there are days when I am not and that’s ok, I don’t have to force creativity. I believe in efficiency. I really think I can get as much done in 4 ours than I would in 8 at an office if I’m in flow and focused.
It also means I’m in the moment. When I’m with my fiancé I’m there with him, I’m not thinking about work. When I’m working with clients I’m not thinking about doing something else. I want to be 100% for whatever task is in front of me.
Share with us a time when work/life balance was out of whack? What was your aha moment that taught you it was ok to take care of yourself first?
With my corporate job! I actually really love corporate sales and enjoyed many aspects of my job, but the travel was way too much. My online business started to appear naturally so it really felt like the timing was right. I can be fairly impulsive at times and I had a final straw moment and just took the plunge. We had a family event planned on a weekend and a few weeks prior to the day I received an email that I was meant to be away that weekend for work. In that moment, I just said enough is enough and resigned on the spot.
What are you most passionate about?
Running races! There is something about feeling the physical pain of working as hard as you can, and having to really get into the depths of your mental toughness to keep on pushing. I love that it’s such a clear path to being 100% mindful. There is not a single second where you want to check your phone and worry about work. You are forced to work through every step focusing on staying positive, breaking limitations, and finally the overwhelming sense of accomplishment when you finally see that finish line.
How do you nourish yourself?
Vegetables, laughter, and adventure.
What is your weekly fitness routine like?
It changes weekly. I love every aspect of fitness. I literally get butterflies of excitement to go to the gym. I still compete a lot so it quite often is tailored to the next event, but I’ll have weeks where I’ll train in muay thai or jits all week and lift really heavy, or I’ll have a week where I’ll run and do speed work or focus on power. I actually think my no plan, plan for fitness has made me a really well rounded athlete and helped me stay away from injuries. I recently ran 160 kms in 22.5 hours and was able to recover fairly quick. I’ve had 2 road races and a trail race since, and next up is a jits tournament in December.
What are your daily habits for winding down at night and reducing stress?
I unapologetically watch a really horrible TV show with my fiancé! Depending on when we both get home from work it might include making dinner together first. Right now I’m in to the Bachelor Canada or made for TV Christmas movies. We chat and laugh throughout the show so we are actually connecting during the time too.
What are some pain points of being an Alpha Female that you have to problem solve for?
I have been a leader in so many situations that I really have a hard time turning it off in my personal relationships. I keep asking my fiancé to plan something and take charge, but then never give him the chance because I’ve already got out schedules mapped out and can’t actually give up control.
Taking on too much is something I’ve always struggled with as well. I’m at an age now where I really need to be conscientious of my body and how much I am putting it through. My hormones are a total mess but I still feel the need to keep competing because it’s so wrapped up in my identity. I’m still working on accepting that if I didn’t compete in anything for a year, that I would still be me.
What is your definition of happiness?
Having no regrets.