Week 3 was asking us to focus on our body image. The opening introduction talked about how we mistreat ourselves through relationships with food, alcohol, drugs and even sex. I hadn’t really thought about being intimate with someone as a mistreating action to ourselves so I’ve definitely detached the two from my thoughts. I thankfully have already gone through a journey through healing on how I view food & alcohol and luckily never misused drugs.
“Our bodies are a vehicle for spiritual growth and healing” – Gabrielle Bernstein
On the first day of the week, day 15, we were asked to witness our false views of ourselves and how we treat out body. I will open up a bit in hopes that this may speak to someone else. My journal entry was a bit more in depth that night but I definitely learned to see that I use intimacy early on in a relationship in hopes it would develop a relationship vs. using it as a gift after you’ve gotten to know someone. I made sure I didn’t judge myself I just allowed the thoughts to come. It makes sense that I have a fear of being alone and not finding a happy and healthy relationship and thus my ego would tell me to use my body for intimacy to find that in an empty pursuit that would only create an unhealthy view of myself.
The background image was taken on my last night in Melbourne with my aunt, uncle and mom surrounding me as we watched the sun set at St Kilda beach. I thought this image was appropriate because spending time with my family is healing to the soul and always helps me view myself in a much more positive way than I’m used to.
Day 16 we were challenged with letting our inner guide heal our perceptions. The evening exercise of the day was really simply and just involved a prayer and meditation. It was nice to acknowledge the false perception and just say I won’t see myself this way anymore.
The background image is of the 30 Bench winery in Beamsville Ontario. I chose the image because it was a desolate and cold day but you can still see the beauty in the winery. That’s why I know God is helping me change my perceptions of not only how I view myself but the world around me at the same time.
On Day 17, we were asked to read a morning passage to ourselves in the mirror. I didn’t and still don’t understand the below affirmation. Gabby even said you probably won’t fully understand the concept and I’m ok with that. If I understood everything in life I wouldn’t be trying to learn more about myself 🙂
The background image was another image from my trip to Turks & Caicos. I chose it because if I’m supposed to release my ego’s perceptions of my body I want to do so with a pure heart and mind and the water just reflects that to me.
On Day 18, we came back to a grateful practice. I am so grateful for my body and all it does to me. In 2009, I began my fitness journey towards a better body and inadvertently discovered a healthier me. I am grateful for everything I do so that I can tackle the world around me. Since I need this body to live long so I can accomplish everything I want to in life it was nice to take a moment and be thankful.
The background image was from my trip to Mexico last year on the transformation retreat. I choose a picture of my body full of strength, grace and peace.
On Day 19, we came back to a practice of forgiveness. I have an amazing friend in my life who I’ve actually had endless conversations about intimacy and my past choices. He told me probably only a week before I read this day’s chapter that I need to stop feeling guilty for what has brought me to this moment. He didn’t know it but he was setting the stage for my brain to be open to truly forgiving myself. Despite saying over and over again I wouldn’t be the person I am today without my past experiences I still feel/felt guilty for my choices. Being able to take a deep breath and say nope I will not see myself this way is refreshing.
And finally the end of the week and day 20 came to pass. The morning meditation asked for us to light a candle to burn off old beliefs. I read my morning passage on the subway on my way to the office so I couldn’t really do that but the symbolism wasn’t lost on me. Nothing earth shattering happened this day but just great positive thoughts.
The background image for today’s affirmation was up at my friend’s cottage this past September. I spent a weekend with my love Michelle and it was a positive weekend of friendship and love and was perfect for today’s message.