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Tag Archives: Gretchen Rubin

Diving Into Better Than Before

4 / 27 / 157 / 4 / 22

I can actually credit Gretchen Rubin with the start of my Happiness Journey that I embarked upon in 2012. The word embarked upon makes me sound like an old-world traveller, but I digress. After I called off my wedding in August of 2012 and started healing after a toxic relationship fell apart, I picked up the Happiness Project in October and it helped shaped how I live my life today. It is one of the many tools I used to teach myself how to find happiness in my life. So when Gretchen released her new book; Better Than Before, in March of this year, I eagerly downloaded it to my Kobo. I’ve been reading it at the gym in the morning during cardio on the bike. Hence the picture below with my favourite pre-workout by Magnum (Rocket Science).

Better Than Before

I’m reading it purposefully day by day, only one chapter at a time to allow it to resonate with my overworked brain. I wanted to share part of the process that she went through when looking at her habit-forming skills so I can shine a light on how I’m reading the book in hopes of improving parts of my life that I’m still trying to establish habits.

In the third chapter “Different Solutions for Different People: Distinctions” she shares with us all the questions she asked herself to illuminate what kind of person she is and how that will shape habit making. After sharing her “Four Tendencies” in the chapter before this was neat to see her thought process. If you click the link you can do a quiz on her website to find out what you are. This chapter seems to be written for the reader to help identify what kind of person you are so you can adopt new habits in the best way for yourself to adopt them based on your lifestyle and tendencies.

She asks questions like are you a lark or an owl? An over buyer or an under buyer? A finisher or an opener? A marathoner or a sprinter or a procrastinator? A lover of simplicity or abundance? A lover of familiarity or novelty? Are you promotion or prevention-focused? Do you like to take small steps or big steps? So let’s dive into mine…

How I Like To Spend My Time

At what time of the day do I feel energized? First thing in the morning

When do I drag? In the evening

Do I like racing from one activity to another, or do I prefer unhurried transitions? I like completing a project before moving on to the next. I get overwhelmed with too many projects open but at times do like juggling projects for variety. 

What activities take up my time but aren’t particularly useful or stimulating? Playing games on my phone like Tetris or Lumosity games over and over again just to get a better score. 

Would I like to spend more time with friends, or by myself? I need equal time with people and alone. 

Do I have several things on my calendar that I anticipate with pleasure? I plan out my week this way so I have one thing every day and amazing weekends full of activities and fun. 

What can I do for hours without feeling bored? Working out, reading, writing and social media.

What daily or weekly activity did I do for fun when I was ten years old? Dance. I was in the studio basically every day. I also loved playing outside with my brother (whether it was soccer, throwing the baseball around, a frisbee or playing badminton).  

So I am a LARK (it’s easiest for me to try new habits in the morning) and a MARATHONER (I prefer to plan out my goals and take small steps to get there in a well-executed manner). I am a FINISHER and get intrinsic rewards from completing projects before moving on to the next one. 

What I Value

What’s most satisfying to me: saving time, or money, or effort? time and money

Does it bother me to act differently from other people, or do I get a charge out of it? I feel special when people are in awe of my meal prep ability. But I don’t like to feel bothered that I act differently than others. 

Do I spend a lot of time on something that’s important to someone else, but not to me? Not really as I’m very much a lone wolf these days.

If I had $500 that I had to spend on fun, how would I spend it? travel or an experience like sky diving, bungee jumping and sleeping in a treehouse all in one day 🙂

Do I like to listen to experts, or do I prefer to figure things out for myself? both

Does spending money on an activity make me feel more committed to it? yes – I pay for a race and then I train for it

Would I be happy to see my children have the life I’ve had? I can’t wait to have a family to share my adventures with.

My Current Habits

Am I more likely to indulge in a bad habit in a group, or when I’m alone? for sure alone when no one is watching me.

If I could magically, effortlessly change one habit in my life, what would it be? projects like setting a daily time to write or organize my den always get pushed off and I can’t seem to get them into my routine.

If the people around me could change one of my habits, what would they choose? I need to stick to a routine. Although I love to do things it’s usually planned spontaneity. I very rarely change my plans if I already have in my head what I want to do.

3 things that I’m still struggling to implement in my life are daily devotionals, meditation and consistent writing time for working on my full-length book. I know I need to work on trying things in the morning. I’ve been coming into the office a bit earlier than normal on mornings when I’m not in the gym or just doing 30 mins on the bike so I can spend at least 30 mins writing. Now I just have to figure out how to implement a daily devotional & mediation time. I think ensuring my phone is off at night so I’m not tempted to play Lumosity games on it will be important for me to transition this habit into my life. My brain is just so done with the day in the evening I’m usually doing something mindless.

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PUSH – Priorities – Round 2

11 / 3 / 125 / 3 / 19

This is a bit of a tough post for me and an emotional one. I’ve been putting off blogging about my “personal” life because I didn’t think I needed to announce anything publicly but my blog is for me in the end. It’s my outlet. This blog is my therapy. Sometimes I just need to write.

I share my life with the world for only one reason. If something I am going through or something I have done for myself can help one other person’s life than it makes me feel good and therefore putting stuff out there into the blogging world is ok. I’ve put things on this blog to keep myself accountable and sometimes you fall short of goals and have to revisit them.

On January 15th I started reading Chalene Johnson’s book PUSH. I only got to Chapter 8. I was working through these chapters as I was looking for a new job. I was laid off at the end of 2011 and stressed about finding a new job and paying for a wedding so I was hoping that this book could help focus me. There were a ton of other things going on but I don’t believe it’s appropriate to share. I was lost in myself and what was going on. I was looking for quick band aid solutions instead of root problem solving. So now that I’ve gone through the dark and come out of the other side I decided I need to re-do my homework and work through the chapters again.

My original priorities were: career, fiancee, family, friends, health, fitness, faith 

and my 3 top priorities became…

My number one priority: Fiancee & Family & Friends

My number two priority: Career

My number three priority: Fitness

My number one priority is to never let my pursuit of career or fitness opportunities come in between my relationship with my fiancee, family or friends. I will always work on being supportive, loving, caring, attentive and present in every moment with them. I will choose only opportunities that would make them proud and never pursue too many projects that would take me away from them for prolonged period of time.

I made a mistake. I forgot about the airplane rule. I forgot that I cannot do anything for anyone unless my oxygen mask is on first. I have to do what makes me happy. I have to make my own happiness project a priority or my life will suffer. Although my sentiments around my number one priority were true. The problem wasn’t that I put fitness choices ahead of my family or friends. The problem was that I took for granted my fitness and health to ensure everything else in my life was ok. In the end, I became unhappy. I didn’t think straight and life fell apart.

I did not get married. I am single. And I am ok. I went through a rough 2012. I won’t talk about the details because I’m truly talked out and respect the personal nature that it’s not just about me. My family & friends were really there for me. But in re-examining my life I realize that I tried way too many bandaids vs. root happy priorities to fix problems. My family & friends won’t always be there for me if I am not happy for myself first and foremost.

“Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.” — Mark Twain    

My priorities list is still: career, family, friends, health, fitness, faith

However, my number one priority is Fitness/Health & Faith – If I am not moving and praying and keeping myself grounded once a day then I am not happy. I may have thought these were intrinsic priorities but when I don’t put them at the forefront of my life they slip out of sight.

My number two priority: Family & Friends

My number three priority: Career

I still believe that I need to always be supportive, loving, caring, attentive and present in every moment with the people in my life. I will only choose opportunities in my 2 careers in advertising and fitness that would make anyone (past, present or future) in my life proud. I will never put my careers ahead of my relationships but I know that I need to be fulfilled and happy to be there for others.

So my top priority clarity statement is:

The only person I can change is myself. The only person that can make me happy is me. If I feel good talking to God, working out and doing things that make me healthy then that is what makes me happy at a base level.

I will be starting my own happiness project. I cannot wait to take the time to write out my resolutions for the upcoming year. I cannot wait to put down on paper my personal commandments and study Gretchen Rubin’s Eight Splendid Truths of Happiness as I work through PUSH as well. So here we go on the way to happy!

 

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About Robyn!

I help to empower you with healthy habits
- By using dōTERRA Essential Oils
- Sharing my Multiple Sclerosis journey
- Show you how to thrive with an autoimmune sidekick

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Tell me, what is your go-to solo essential oil tha Tell me, what is your go-to solo essential oil that you love to diffuse?
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For me it's any essential oil that comes from a tree!
He loves sending me off to work to my home office He loves sending me off to work to my home office on our lower floor. Always blowing me kisses and saying “see you soon mama” 🥹
Wanna know what our twins might have been called?! Wanna know what our twins might have been called?!
Learn about nervous system regulation. Because fi Learn about nervous system regulation.

Because fixing your nutrition, getting ample sleep, reducing your toxic load, working out, etc. none of it will matter if you’re in a constant state of fight/flight or freeze. 

Do you take the time to deep breathe every day? 
Do you find time to meditate?
Have you tried breathwork?
How do you wind down each day? 
How do you start your day? 

As someone who lives well with MS. I’m happy to chat if you wanna bounce some ideas off of me for learning to regulate your nervous system.
When someone newly diagnosed with an autoimmune di When someone newly diagnosed with an autoimmune disease asks if they can keep doing all the things they are currently doing, eating the same way they are currently eating, in the same stressful situations they are currently in and not getting enough sleep…

Me: telling them they can optimize and improve their lifestyle so they don’t have to live with debilitating autoimmune disease symptoms but you can’t keep doing the same old same old
I was diagnosed with MS in 2014 and I’ve had one I was diagnosed with MS in 2014 and I’ve had one relapse in 2023. My first one in 9 years. And I know it was from the stress of giving birth to twins, during a pandemic and then 2 years of discrimination and more. 

I’ve put my disease in remission before and I’ll do it again. For me, my decision to go on DMTs is risk vs reward and I choose to optimize my quality of life to take care of myself over pharmaceuticals with potentially harmful side effects.
To the other moms who need to hear it, you are a g To the other moms who need to hear it, you are a good mom.
Feeling tired and depressed post partum is not nor Feeling tired and depressed post partum is not normal. I know something was off after giving birth to twins so I sought help. Happy to chat if you need recommendations!
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