This is a bit of a tough post for me and an emotional one. I’ve been putting off blogging about my “personal” life because I didn’t think I needed to announce anything publicly but my blog is for me in the end. It’s my outlet. This blog is my therapy. Sometimes I just need to write.
I share my life with the world for only one reason. If something I am going through or something I have done for myself can help one other person’s life than it makes me feel good and therefore putting stuff out there into the blogging world is ok. I’ve put things on this blog to keep myself accountable and sometimes you fall short of goals and have to revisit them.
On January 15th I started reading Chalene Johnson’s book PUSH. I only got to Chapter 8. I was working through these chapters as I was looking for a new job. I was laid off at the end of 2011 and stressed about finding a new job and paying for a wedding so I was hoping that this book could help focus me. There were a ton of other things going on but I don’t believe it’s appropriate to share. I was lost in myself and what was going on. I was looking for quick band aid solutions instead of root problem solving. So now that I’ve gone through the dark and come out of the other side I decided I need to re-do my homework and work through the chapters again.
My original priorities were: career, fiancee, family, friends, health, fitness, faith
and my 3 top priorities became…
My number one priority: Fiancee & Family & Friends
My number two priority: Career
My number three priority: Fitness
My number one priority is to never let my pursuit of career or fitness opportunities come in between my relationship with my fiancee, family or friends. I will always work on being supportive, loving, caring, attentive and present in every moment with them. I will choose only opportunities that would make them proud and never pursue too many projects that would take me away from them for prolonged period of time.
I made a mistake. I forgot about the airplane rule. I forgot that I cannot do anything for anyone unless my oxygen mask is on first. I have to do what makes me happy. I have to make my own happiness project a priority or my life will suffer. Although my sentiments around my number one priority were true. The problem wasn’t that I put fitness choices ahead of my family or friends. The problem was that I took for granted my fitness and health to ensure everything else in my life was ok. In the end, I became unhappy. I didn’t think straight and life fell apart.
I did not get married. I am single. And I am ok. I went through a rough 2012. I won’t talk about the details because I’m truly talked out and respect the personal nature that it’s not just about me. My family & friends were really there for me. But in re-examining my life I realize that I tried way too many bandaids vs. root happy priorities to fix problems. My family & friends won’t always be there for me if I am not happy for myself first and foremost.
“Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.” — Mark Twain
My priorities list is still: career, family, friends, health, fitness, faith
However, my number one priority is Fitness/Health & Faith – If I am not moving and praying and keeping myself grounded once a day then I am not happy. I may have thought these were intrinsic priorities but when I don’t put them at the forefront of my life they slip out of sight.
My number two priority: Family & Friends
My number three priority: Career
I still believe that I need to always be supportive, loving, caring, attentive and present in every moment with the people in my life. I will only choose opportunities in my 2 careers in advertising and fitness that would make anyone (past, present or future) in my life proud. I will never put my careers ahead of my relationships but I know that I need to be fulfilled and happy to be there for others.
So my top priority clarity statement is:
The only person I can change is myself. The only person that can make me happy is me. If I feel good talking to God, working out and doing things that make me healthy then that is what makes me happy at a base level.
I will be starting my own happiness project. I cannot wait to take the time to write out my resolutions for the upcoming year. I cannot wait to put down on paper my personal commandments and study Gretchen Rubin’s Eight Splendid Truths of Happiness as I work through PUSH as well. So here we go on the way to happy!