I didn’t know if I was going to write this post. But as I’ve done before my blog is not only to provide useful information, it’s also personally, for me a chance to document life. And what a time to be documenting what’s going on.
I can officially say that I’ve been pregnant during a pandemic. And while I know many other mamas-to-be may be experiencing “much worse”, I still wanted to share my experience and share our joys as well as our frustrations and not diminish our struggles because they “aren’t as bad”.
In this pregnancy announcement post, I shared that we found out we were pregnant 3 days after I signed a contract for a new job on the west coast, which meant we would move our family out to a brand new province, a brand new town and start a new job all while pregnant. They say that moving and starting a new job are stressful times even if they don’t seem like it and I decided to tackle both by myself while pregnant. Thankfully my mom came out with me for the first month so I had amazing in-person support.
As I started to meet people at work and around the city, it was hard to connect with them and talk about my fear and worries as I wasn’t talking about the pregnancy until we got to our second trimester. I was also so busy with my new job that I didn’t take the time to try and truly make friends around the city yet.
Mike arrived in Port Alberni with our pups on March 13. The following Monday, I started to work from home as we saw our nation going into “lockdown”. This meant that we became isolated at home together as he wasn’t starting work until the beginning of April. While that month was truly great for our relationship and I believe it was strengthened during this time, it was also hard to just spend time together.
I truly believe for a couple to thrive you each need your own support systems and friends. And with no ability to go out and try and make new friends in town it became one of the loneliest times we’ve experienced and are still experiencing.
We hosted a virtual baby shower pretty much just as an excuse to meet up online with our friends back east. I also try and book FaceTime dates with my friends around the country to keep in touch and have a connection. I know it’s been harder for Mike to say goodbye to friends because I think it’s harder for guys to suggest FT dates with each other. So needless to say we’re lonely.
On the positive side, because Mike and I were both home, when I felt the babes move for the first time, Mike was steps away and I could call him over to feel. The first time he felt them kick happy tears sprung to his eyes and I’ll cherish that memory.
Ok so how is the pandemic affecting our pregnancy?
The hardest part is Mike not being able to participate in appointments. And while I know many partners don’t attend every ultrasound or doctor’s appointment, Mike has wanted to. When he arrived in Port Alberni we were scheduled for an ultrasound the week after. We hadn’t yet heard that they weren’t allowing anyone else in with you. So when we arrived, I broke down in tears since Mike hadn’t seen our babies since our ultrasound in December where we found out we were having twins. I was sobbing so much the hospital took pity on me and got Mike to wear a mask, gown and gloves to be able to come in the room with me. Because we’re having twins we get monthly ultrasounds and I’ve had to go to each appointment alone. While that might not sound like a big deal, I get to see their heartbeats and tiny faces and Mike only gets the picture print outs. I can’t even FaceTime him in.
On a positive note, the hospital is so empty that it’s an absolute breeze heading there for appointments.
We were mentally and physically preparing for going through the birth together. I had always pictured being able to have a Doula in the room with us offering support and for a long time they were only allowing 1 support system in the birthing suite with you in the hospital. Thankfully, the hospital where we are planning to give birth finally lifted that restriction. So crossing our fingers nothing changes, we will have a Doula there to support Mike and I.
I’ve had a hard time with “complaining” about it all because I know there are mom’s in the United States who’s partner can’t even be with them during the birth. So I get that when you compare hardships, we don’t have it hard but it’s still affecting us. So my purpose of sharing this is that a hardship is a hardship no matter what. We shouldn’t diminish how we are feeling or are struggling with something, simply because someone “has it worse”.