Dear Robyn,

Welcome to your next-decade tour around the sun. Your thirties were at times the most painful and beautiful experiences you’ve had in your life. You’ve learned so much so let’s recap 10 lessons learned over the past decade.

Let me just remind you of some of the things you’ve learned, gained or lost for good reason in your 30s.

2012: You turned 30, called off your wedding to your ex-fiancé and learned that you were stronger than you thought and learned to leave a relationship that was not healthy.

2013: You turned 31 and learned to love your life again. You became adventurous and created seasonal bucket lists to discover what makes/made you happy or to push your comfort zones.

2014: You turned 32 and were diagnosed with MS. Your eyes were opened to the many different ways of healing yourself. You learned to take care of yourself differently.

2015: You turned 33, became so strong from OCR racing and would meet your future husband. You learned to end a relationship that wasn’t meant for the long term and would learn what truly being loved was like.

2016: You turned 34, and left your career in Toronto to move in with Mike in Ottawa. You put relationships and life first. You would travel to Banff, Patagonia and Tofino and would enrich your life through travel experiences.

2017: You turned 35, and you would continue to put romantic and friend relationships first. You would travel to Banff with Mike and get engaged and to Mallorca (Part 1 & Part 2) with a dear friend for a yoga retreat. You would learn presence, communication and trust.

2018: You turned 36, and married the love of your life. You learned to trust love again.

2019: You turned 37, and after a year and a half of trying to conceive you would conceive twins! You would learn to trust in your body again.

2020: You turned 38, carried twins and gave birth to beautiful babies during a pandemic. You became a mother and learned a new level of resilience after a traumatic birth experience. You would learn how to be a twin mama and thrive at it.

2021: You turned 39, and would lose yourself to discover more of who you are meant to be moving forward in this life. You would learn that you are valuable in your career and no company can make you feel less than.

2022: You turned 40 this year, and you have become comfortable with the uncomfortable thoughts of waking up to the world. You prioritize your family, and your close friends. You are always up-leveling yourself and being so present that nothing can shake your focus on building the next 10 years.

xoxo,

Robyn

“Unfortunately, we’re going to have to let you go.”

A sentence I have now heard for the third time in my career. I am clearly in need of learning a lesson in knowing my career worth. In my mid-30s I had learned the lesson when it comes to how I show up in relationships. I had already learned the lesson when it comes to how I take care of my health. AND I had already learned the lesson around pursuing something new (when I became a yoga teacher). However, in 2022, I apparently still need to learn the lesson that I am worthy of building a career that feels good.

The Definition of Worth

You know how much I love my definitions so let’s dive into this one…

That was all well and good but didn’t truly embody what knowing our worth means. So another definition that I discovered for worth is that of “high value or merit”. If we know our worth then we know we are valuable and merit a great relationship or a great career.

Knowing Your Worth In Relationships

In 2014, I wrote a blog post about learning my worth when it comes to dating and relationships. 2012, marked a year where I left a toxic relationship and called off a wedding. Back then, I was finally starting to understand my worth when it came to dating. What it truly meant to be in a healthy relationship. There were so many times when I re-entered the dating world I would diminish myself or not speak my truth. I would start dating a guy who had many red flags or just wasn’t right for me. Somehow I was shocked when they would ghost me or break up with me for no reason. I would start asking myself:

“Why am I not good enough for this person to stay in my life?”

“Why am I not worth fighting for?”

“Why am I not enough?”

Why can we be so wrapped up in finding another human to spend my life with? I wasn’t taking the time to be completely ok on my own. I didn’t truly grasp that I was worthy of a great relationship because I had a great one with myself first.

Knowing Your Worth In Health

A funny thing happened around the same time that I was diagnosed with MS, I actually found myself in healthy relationships. My evolution in knowing my worthiness then came as I discovered how to live with a new autoimmune sidekick.

I had to stand up to doctors who were insistent that I go on disease-modifying treatments. And know that I was worthy of healing myself in a holistic way.

I had to speak up for myself when going out to eat at restaurants. I knew I didn’t have to shy away from communicating my food sensitivities. That I was worthy of taking care of myself and to feel nourish when I went out to eat.

I learned how to communicate details about my health as I was dating so I could find a respectful partner. One who honoured how I was choosing to take care of myself instead of seeing it as a burden. I met my now-husband at the end of my first year of living with MS and by then I knew my worth in relationships and in how I take care of myself.

Knowing Your Worth In Pursuing Something New

Fast forward a few years to 2019, and I was still learning lessons about worthiness. This time it had to do with feeling worthy enough to become a yoga teacher. My husband’s wedding present for me was a trip to Bali to do my yoga teacher training. At the time, I didn’t feel worthy enough to pursue the training. These were the questions that kept running through my head as I went through the 3 week-long training:

“Who am I to become a yoga teacher?”

“Are you just following in the footsteps of your friends who are already yoga teachers?”

“You already do too much, why would you add something else to your plate?”

What I failed to recognize immediately was that I needed to flip the switch on each question immediately.

“Who am I NOT to become a yoga teacher?”

“People have always gone before us in professions.”

“You are multi-dimensional and this compliments everything already on your plate.”

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So how does all this talk of worthiness apply to being let go from a job?

Knowing Your Worth In Your Career

In 2014, I also shared a blog post on “why being let go from a job can be good for your career”. I had been fired from my first job way back in 2011. The lessons learned at that time were many. And although that was a very difficult time in my life. I recognized years later that I wasn’t completely without fault. However, I learned a lot about being let go from a job and how I would handle it in the future if it should happen again or if I as a manager had to let someone go who was on my marketing team.

2011 Lessons Learned

• I should’ve acted differently toward my co-workers, despite being stressed.
• I have ensured to never let someone go from a job the way it was done to me.
• My staff has always had thorough one-on-ones and development plans so they could work on things that needed improvement and I’ve asked for that for myself as well.
• I was and am confident in relying on my network and my skill strength to find my next job.

Unfortunately, I have also been let go from other jobs at no fault of mine due to different factors. Including the downsizing of companies or poorly managed companies. It’s hard to have the foresight to know if a company that’s hiring you is financially healthy enough or lives up to the corporate values on their website. How can you be sure that the role you’re accepting will be there in the future?

If I was able to discover that I was worthy of being treated properly, respectfully and actually being loved in a relationship then you’d think I would be able to do the same when it comes to choosing a company to dedicate time and energy to. But I haven’t been able to yet. So here are the things I’m learning to look out for as I move forward. Especially if I decide to stay in the corporate world and grow my marketing career.

Job Red Flags To Watch Out For

1. Work/Life Harmony: It’s one thing for a company to tell their employees they value work/life harmony (or balance). It’s another thing to see executives and senior leadership exemplify this quality. Are they taking time to be with friends and family? Do they send emails at night? Are they prioritizing movement in their day? I’ve learned to look for this in the interview phase by simply asking questions of the hiring manager. For example: “What do you like to do in your free time?”
2. Comprehensive Benefit Plans: Ask to see the entire benefit plan before accepting a job offer. I, unfortunately, chose to accept a job where there were no maternity leave benefits, unlike prior companies I’ve worked for and didn’t find out until after starting.
3. Financial Health: Unfortunately due to the reality of business, marketing is usually the first thing to go when a company is struggling. A marketing leader’s salary is also the first thing to get cut over more junior roles. This is something that I haven’t figured out how to research proactively yet. If you have tips, let me know in the comments. However, it’s something I need to be careful of once I’ve been onboarded and I see financial red flags.
4. Glassdoor Reviews: There are mixed feelings over Glassdoor reviews. This is definitely a resource I now use during the interview process. I compare the positive vs. negative reviews that a company has. In the past, I’ve been so excited to receive job offers that I have definitely overlooked this key research platform.

I think the hardest thing in the corporate world is leaving a role you’ve taken soon after accepting or starting. Sometimes it’s not until the onboarding process that you can recognize warning signs. And maybe just like dating, I needed to experience the gamut of dating scenarios so I could finally recognize when I was in a positive relationship. I wasn’t scared to only go out on one date or break up with a guy because I knew they weren’t the right person for me. If I was able to learn that in relationships I should be ready to now implement that in my career.

Looking Forward To The Future

I was let go from my last job in early February of 2022. My current time is being spent looking through job boards, applying to roles, interviewing and even considering a few job offers. I’ve taken an educational course to learn more about the crypto industry to potentially make a shift in my career. I’ve also launched a website under my new married name offering fractional marketing services. I’m spending time with my family. I’m also exploring focusing on side hustles with more time and energy and building them up. And last but not least, I’m decompressing from physical and emotional stress on my body.

I am truly excited about what the future holds. I don’t have a crystal ball and I have no idea if it includes finding a dream company to grow my Marketing career with. Or growing my dōTERRA business. Or growing my Autoimmune Thriving business. Or growing my fractional CMO services. I am truly grateful for this space in my life at the present moment.

In January 2021, when I was let go from my job while on mat leave, there was a frantic pace to my job search. I had planned on going back to work in February of 2021. After having been on mat leave for 6 months I felt rushed to get back to the working world so I could support my family. This time around, I’ve financially made sure our family is well-taken care of. I’m able to see this time as “space”. I know that I don’t need to rush to just jump into another job because I have a financial responsibility to earn money. I can take this time to ensure I am doing something that truly lights me up in the future. That way where I choose to dedicate my time and energy won’t feel frantic and calm, passionate energy will be present in my career choices.

How many different hats do you wear? Is it exhausting switching between them? I HEAR YOU AND I UNDERSTAND. Sorry I didn’t mean to yell at you. I just want it to sink in that you are not alone.

I started writing down all the hats or labels that I wear or have worn over the years just to see them all out on my screen in front of me. And no wonder it feels like a lot.

My Many Hats

Wife

Mother

Daughter

Marketing Director

Essential Oil Educator

Podcast Host

MS Thriver

Hunter

Obstacle Course Racer

Fitness Competitor

The list could go on…

I decided to write this blog post as I’m knee-deep learning this lesson.

Quick Back Story

Last week, our contractors started demolition on our downstairs. We’re renovating and putting in a brand-new ensuite bathroom on our bedroom, re-doing the other bathroom on that floor and expanding our bedroom walk-in closet. I asked one of my best friends if I could work from her house for 3 days and it was such a necessary break for me. I didn’t even realize I needed a different environment for my remote work.

Here’s what a normal work-day looks like in my world since I started my new job in June 2021.

My husband, Mike and I woke up at 4:30 am. I put on a guided meditation for around 10 mins, and do 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing. After that, I get up and make warm lemon water with a pinch of sea salt, honey and a drop of ginger essential oil. I then go downstairs to the basement and get a 30 min workout in. Since the start of the month, I’ve asked Mike to program my workouts for me so that I don’t have to think about what to do when I get downstairs.

From there, the babies wake up around 6:30 am, so after a quick shower, I immediately switch into mom mode until our nanny arrives at 8 am. I then finish getting ready, sometimes I’ll walk the dogs (if I don’t have a meeting right at 9 am) and then I go into work mode.

Switching Hats Throughout The Day

Throughout the day, I’m constantly wearing different hats. One minute, I might be running upstairs to help calm the dogs who might be reacting to package deliveries. Or running up the stairs to help our nanny with a crying twin or twins.

Additionally, when 5 pm hits, I’m usually just finishing a zoom meeting and then I’m running upstairs to take over for the nanny while my husband finishes cooking dinner. I hadn’t realized that my nervous system is on high alert all the time until I took those 3 days last week to work in a quiet environment. I also hadn’t realized the importance of having transition times. How our commute time before remote work was a perfect example of having a transition time specifically shifting from work mode to mom or wife mode.

How I Will Create Transition Times

I could feel my anxiety rising just explaining my day. It’s been tough to realize that my nervous system is suffering because there are so many positives to how my days are structured.

I love and am grateful for the fact that I get to work from home. I get to see my babies multiple times a day (not just in the morning and in the evening). The twins have their mama home to console them when they wake up from a nap crying. Our dogs are protecting our house. I love and am grateful for all the roles that I have.

AND

I know that I need to figure out how to transition from one role to another so that I’m not feeling frazzled.

So here’s what I’m going to start doing this month to assist with transitioning between roles:

1. Listen to at least a 5 min meditation before heading upstairs at the end of my workday.
2. Take 3 deep breaths after rushing upstairs before getting back to work.

What other transition habits have worked well for you if you work from home?

You Can’t Wear Multiple Hats At Once

At the end of the day, I can work on transitioning between roles but I still need to remember that I can’t play more than one role at once. The same goes with multi-tasking. Our brain does better when we finish one task and then move on to the next. Being a podcast host, really helped me wrap my mind around this concept of not doing it all. When I have booked podcast recordings in the past I carved out an hour in my day. My podcast recordings are booked into my calendar. Interview questions are prepared ahead of time and then during that time, I’m present. I always turn off my phone. I take a few deep breaths before logging into zoom and then I’m present in the interview. So why can’t I do that with my other hats?

I’m really good at time blocking so that’s not the issue. I just still try to do it all and I’m constantly thinking of all the things that need to be done. I need to remember that I really can’t do it all. And even if I try to do it all I won’t be able to do it well. So I can focus on the hats that I love to wear and then I need to choose which hats I take off and outsource.

I can’t mom, wife, be a personal chef and house cleaner. So I’m not. I’ve asked Mike to take over cooking and so come 4 o’clock he’s in charge of our dinner prep. On the weekends, I catch up on house cleaning chores but I know that my next outsourcing task will be to hire a house cleaner because the time I spend cleaning on the weekend I could be playing with the babies. I need to constantly remember what’s more important to me. I also know I have the financial abundance to outsource it and share our financial wealth with others by providing jobs for others who take much more pleasure in a task or simply need to be supported financially.

How will you remove some of the hats that you’re wearing for your nervous system health?