Birthday Reflections at 37

For the past 6 years, I’ve celebrated my birthday with random (technically planned) acts of kindness. This year I’m spending time writing out my birthday reflections instead. I would put a call out on social media for my people to do one act of kindness in my honour. It was so fun to see all the things people would come up with. However, I’m tired of promoting my birthday and asking people to do random acts of kindness. It felt off asking people to do things for me, so I stopped.

This year I’ll still be dropping off flowers at the local retirement home after work. Because it’s still one of my most favourite acts of love to do on my birthday and to see the smile on the ladies faces at the home as I walk around handing out flowers means the world to me.

So here are my birthday reflections from the past year since I last blew out candles on a gluten-free, dairy-free cake.

My Birthday Reflections

1. I’m learning daily how to be more present in my life. It’s an ongoing practice that I’m not sure I’ll ever figure out. I think I’m getting better at letting go of the past but because I’m so excited to build and create things in this world, I spend a lot of time focusing on the future. It’s a constant struggle but one I’m enjoying figuring out.
2. I obsess about making an impact or creating a legacy. I definitely put pressure on myself to make a mark on this world, to serve others and make a difference that I stop focusing on the present moment. It’s ok to have elaborate and huge dreams. I know that it requires a balance of striving for greatness and gratitude for what we accomplish in our own little corner of the world.
3. Birthdays always seemed to be about celebrating with your friends and family. In my 20s, I relied on others to make my day amazing. I realized that I had an unhealthy expectation of others to make my day great. So, I decided to do random acts of kindness because it made my heart smile. I knew I could create a beautiful day by doing selfless things. But it’s technically very selfish. I do nice things to make myself feel good. Since I got a little too in my head on the random acts of love front, I simplify it to just handing out flowers instead of always trying to outdo myself each year, which can be exhausting.
4. My birthday wish is to learn to have more grace, to be more present in every day and to be filled with ease and patience. That when daily stress comes my way I embody ease and calm.
5. I’ve really struggled in the friendship department over the past year. I have really struggled with confusion and questioned things that have happened. I’m an over-analyzer so if a friendship has slipped away from me, I will spend so much time trying to figure out what did I do, what did they do, how could I fix it, or how could I let it go. It’s exhausting. I’m not good at letting people come and go out of my life. The concept that they were only meant to play a part in my life for a while is still foreign to me. A lesson, I have yet to learn and truly understand.
6. I love being married to Mike. After we got married, we would get asked: “How’s married life?” To which I’d respond “same as before, now I just have 2 rings and a piece of paper in a safe!” But it truly is lovely. Someone said being married to your person just feels like it solidifies the relationship a little more and while I am of the mindset that a relationship should be solid prior to throwing a big party I think I get what they mean. He’s just truly the person that I couldn’t imagine doing life without. Sure we have our moments of disagreement. Communication breaks down. Frustrated comments or sighs are expressed but we will always come back to talking. To working things out or at least coming to a moment of understanding each other. The best part of being married to Mike is knowing that he hears me. While sometimes we don’t figure out a solution, we know that the other person hears us. As I move into my 37th year, I’m so freaking blessed to have him as my partner in crime. I hesitated using the word blessed because it can sound cheesy but I wasn’t sure how else to say it. Even considered throwing in a #blessed just to make you roll your eyes when you read it.

Thanks for hanging out and reading my birthday reflections. It’s always good to know you’re hanging out with me in this little corner of the internet. Especially on my bday! 🙂