Every Friday I am going to feature a woman that I adore. They exude all the qualities of an Alpha Female and I want to dig into their lives to get some nuggets of knowledge to help us all live happier, healthier lives balancing life & work.
Definition of an Alpha Female
An Alpha Female is a powerful and assertive woman. Her confidence is due to being an intelligent and intellectual problem-solver. Being an Alpha Female is a State of Mind based on choosing ambition and being proud of it. She strives for a happy and healthy work/life harmony.
She is the brightest star in her constellation. When an Alpha Female stays true to their authentic selves and their missions they shine. An Alpha Female puts herself first so that she can fill up her cup and then have more energy for her friends, family, and coworkers. She strives for synergy with the world around her. She knows that work/life harmony is found by staying true to your priorities and what makes you happy. She is never complacent about striving for better and nurtures relationships with all the people in her life.
Meet Elisha Rubenstein!
Elisha Rubenstein is a personal trainer, nutrition specialist, published fitness expert, media personality and lifestyle coach. She wants to empower women of all ages to find happiness and inner-strength through a healthy lifestyle. Her goal is to create a mindset for her clients that how you ‘train is how you tackle life.’
What do you think of the definition and how are you an Alpha Female?
The definition of an Alpha Female being both powerful and assertive doesn’t allows resonant well with those who ‘don’t get it’. Women often tend to put everyone but themselves on the forefront, doing whatever they can to please others; all the while feeling not fully fulfilled inside. It’s in our nature to be caregivers. To love and nurture. What we tend to forget is, that if we would care for ourselves as we do for others we would in turn be able to be even more powerful and impactful to those around us. It’s the entire theory of being your best YOU, makes you a better mother, wife, co-worker, sister, friend etc… Whatever role you have, being you your number one makes you a 100 times better for those around you. As we are told before a flight. Use the oxygen mask on yourself first, before helping the person next to you. Same applies in all aspects of your life. Be ambitious and courageous enough to see your reality through. Be balanced and set your priorities. That way not only are you setting an example, but you’re also walking your talk.
What does work/life harmony look like for you?
This was once a trick question for me. I thought I knew. Put everyone ahead of myself. Clients, family etc. Work 14 hour days. Nod my head. Smile and say yes yes yes to everything and everyone. Always being ‘on’. Then I realized I just wasn’t happy. I designed a life to work for myself and own my own business but I was a slave to the ‘enough is never enough’. No one needs to know I am not human. It’s really only been over the last year, that I will not be a part of anything unless it feels just right. I have been far too submissive in the past. And an Alpha Female doesn’t sacrifice her principles. Once I really clued into that, I have never looked back. My days are filled with a balance of my work, my family, my well being~ working out, reading, mediating and eating well~ with some wine in-between with close friends or family. If something or time spent with someone doesn’t feel right, I no longer FORCE myself to do it. I’ve gotten really selfish with how I spend my days. It has to make sense. I intuitively know what makes sense and what doesn’t and I no longer fight my intuition. I no longer feel I always have to prove myself or be on the go. I travel when I want to. I treat myself when I would like to, I do what feels right. As long as it feels right, I remain in a balanced mode.
If life has ever been out of whack?
What was an aha moment you had to take better care of yourself? Life has certainly been out of whack. We are all human and I would be lying if I said I have never felt wayyyyy out of whack. What I have come to realize is my body shuts down on me. I want to sleep. I want to eat whatever I feel like. I get a pain in my upper back and neck. I believe my aha moment was when I had gained an excessive 30lbs from binge eating, that I knew I needed to pay attention to how I was living my day to day. Even now, and that was 10 years ago, I know when I crave sugary foods, wake up and toss and turn in the middle of the night, don’t feel like working out that I am out of whack. Your body really speaks to you. When you feel you are exhausted… YOU ARE. Don’t be hard on yourself. Take a step back and look at what you are doing on the daily. I know in my heart of hearts when something seems off and I have learned to not be so hard on myself, and LISTEN to myself. Why would you ignore your gut? I will never fully figure that out. But we do. So DON’T.
What are you most passionate about?
WELL BEING. Mental health. Physical health and spiritual health. Adapting to who you really are and BEING just that. Without regret.
What are you daily health habits that keep your immune system boosted?
I mediate every morning and evening. When I rise and when I settle. I always have a tablespoon of Apple Cider Vinegar. I exercise, I love Crossfit. I try to eat as balanced as possible, some days are easier than others. But I listen to my body and give it what it wants. If it’s pasta because I feel I need energy to bring me into the next day, then it’s comforting healthy multigrain pasta. I read. I have a cup of Bullet Proof coffee every morning and I think about 5 things that I am grateful for. I walk Zoey and talk to her like a little baby and play with her like I myself am a child.
What is your weekly fitness routine like?
I like to ride my stationery bike in the morning before my breakfast. Just to get my blood flowing. I listen to music and sing or watch the Today’s Show and zone out on fun stuff. I do Crossfit 5 times a week and if I can’t make a class, I have a home gym that I train in. I believe in lifting weights. ALL WOMEN SHOULD LIFT.
How do you challenge yourself fitness wise?
CROSSFIT. Need I say more?
What are you daily/weekly nutrition habits that keep you well nourished?
Protein, healthy fats. Fruits and veggies. If Mother Earth has grown in, I eat it. I am obsessed with eggs. I love hard boiled eggs. Perfect for snacks and meals. I always have a protein shake after my workouts. Everyone should. I love my Apple Cider Vinegar. I always allow myself to have some red wine with dinner if I feel like it. Weekends, I enjoy a treat here and there. It’s all about balance. Too much of anything is not a good thing.
What are your daily habits for winding down at night and reducing stress?
I love my essential oils. My diffuser is always on. I put lavender and peppermint on my feet and the back of my neck. I read and cuddle with Zoey. I think about the good things that happened that day. If there was a problem, I write down a few solutions and focus on that rather than the problem. I also love to write. I have an old school typewriter and use that. I will light a candle and journal… using my typewriter. I love comfy clothes and have a few t-shirts or sweatshirts I have collected over the years that remind me of comforting times. Also, a piece of dark chocolate and a cup of tea always helps.
What are some pain points of being an Alpha Female that you have to problem solve for?
So. I am a total type A personality that people don’t always understand or feel intimidated by. I struggle with that. I have a creative soul and roll with the punches but I also can be very assertive and go after what I want. I have had to learn to balance my hippie self with my ‘Wall Street’ self. I have employed a team to keep everything balanced. I can be overly assertive, my Biz Manager keeps me cool. I believe that if you have a dream, build it with a team. I once wanted to take to all on myself, and realized I don’t need to. This frame of mind of not having to do everything has slowed me down and I am not as stressed about managing myself. I have people to help me do that. All too often, we are to proud to seek help. I believe an Alpha Female knows how to build an empire and that is not done by herself.
What is your definition of happiness?
Happiness. That’s another trick question. I find it has changed as I have aged. Self awareness in my opinion is the starting point. Knowing who you are, what makes you smile and feel comfortable. Who makes you smile and feel comfortable about being you. Doing what your heart tells you feels right. Not second guessing yourself… ALL leads to happiness. Happiness is a bi-product of knowing WHO YOU ARE and NEVER SECOND GUESSING IT OR FEELING ANY REMORSE.