Can An Alpha Female Be Demure & Assertive?

The Alpha Female Podcast has new cover artwork!!!

Middle Photo: Noel Daganta

Outside Photos: Bethany Amanda

So I organized a brand shoot with Bethany Amanda. She had been on my wedding photographer shortlist so this was my way of getting to work with another amazing photog in Ottawa in another way! We shot a whole bunch of new images for my website and social media and I wanted to get a new podcast cover shot because I’ve been using the same image since I launched the podcast in 2016 (see below image).

Photos: by Paul Buceta

So I got amazing photos back from Bethany and started creating different iterations of the podcast cover art in

Using images like this…

And this…

And this…

I posted 4 options to my personal Facebook Page and the same 4 options to a Podcast FB group I belong too and got very different feedback.

The people who know me, read this blog, listen to the podcast, follow me on social media loved the image of me in the pink dress looking down or at the camera smiling. The Podcast group, on the other hand, tore the images apart (in a good way) based on the podcast name.

Eyes looking down strikes me as more demure than “alpha”

“They all seem sweet, innocent and shy. If you looking to impress a female population, appearing assertive and feminine is key for your title”

“…too submissive and demure because you are looking down”

“The photos, whilst beautiful, feel very demure. I don’t see the strength, confidence and ambition that you describe in your Alpha definition. Whilst they may represent choice, they don’t yet portray presence or impact, which for me is what your definition summarises.”

“are all strongly displaying lower status moves (looking down, touching hair or neck, tipping neck to the side). So that leaves you with 1, but even that still has her looking down. I’d suggest a new set of images that are a better match for your message.”

So this is when I came to realize that an Alpha Female is so many things and one image is never enough to describe her fully. While my definition has evolved and the show’s topics have evolved people’s understanding of the word Alpha Female has not (unless they are loyal podcast listeners).

An Alpha Female is a powerful and assertive woman. Her confidence is due to being an intelligent and intellectual problem-solver. Being an Alpha Female is a State of Mind based on choosing ambition and being proud of it. She strives for a happy and healthy work/life harmony.

She is the brightest star in her constellation.  When an Alpha Female stays true to their authentic selves and their missions they shine.  An Alpha Female puts herself first because she deserves self-care and love. She knows that work/life harmony is found by staying true to your priorities and what makes you happy. She is never complacent about striving for better and nurtures relationships with all the people in her life.

In the past year, I’ve really started diving into masculine vs. feminine energy on the show. How we need both the “doing” energy and the “being” energy to design a life we love and have beautiful work/life harmony of our own design.

I believe the coffee cup and the looking down image show my feminine energy perfectly but was fascinated with the word choice of several Facebook commenters that said they were “demure” and “lower status moves”. I’m really trying to change the landscape around being an Alpha Female and share a broad diverse set of guests on the show. I’ve tried to take the strong powerful word that is usually seen as a negative and re-wire people’s mindset around it. I obviously have a long way to go and I’m ok with that but fascinated that so many people have this understanding that someone who comes across as demure cannot be assertive. I’m also fascinated that everyone in the podcast group latched onto the word assertive and didn’t read the rest of the definition. Are we so time-starved that we read 1 sentence and think we have a grasp of the entire definition, article, blog post, etc?

So based on the feedback I chose a powerful eye contact photo for my center shot and lovely “demure” feminine energy photos to bookend it. I went with 3 photos at the start to share the different sides of an Alpha and it looks like the trend will continue 🙂

Ps. Have you listened to the podcast yet?


That’s ok… here’s some links so you can jump on the bandwagon with us 🙂

Subscribe on iTunes HERE

Android users you can also find me on Stitcher!

Now listen on Spotify!

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